A LETTER TO MYSELF

GET A GRIP

Photography | Laura Stafford-Smith


HEAD DOWN

This is how I have been walking for a while now, head down watching my feet shuffle along. I can’t pinpoint the moment I started to do this, I just noticed it in photos of myself. Self confidence is generally a hard topic to talk about for most and seems to be a pretty current one right now.

Generally my ‘outside’ self confidence has always been pretty good. Recently though I have found it harder to smile as often as I like and portray that ‘image’. My little swan feet are going hell for leather underneath. Before we carry on, Sorry! This post is selfishly for myself. I want to look back in 3 months time at the beginning of January and have seen a change in myself because – Laura, you need to get a grip!

 

These photos were taken by the talented Laura Stafford-Smith on a brunch & shoot day we had recently. I LOVED this day, both the company and photos were amazing. Having said that, seriously though can somebody please tell my face! This was a serious fat day for me and for good reason – I have put on the timber recently. I am blaming the lack of future holidays, if there is impending doom of swimwear I am game on. If there isn’t a sniff of a swim up bar, pass me the red wine and cheese! I feel super comfy in this outfit, it’s quirky and fairly loose. I was even having a good’ish’ hair day. Still, I am not feeling myself.

I really can not fathom why or what has caused me to feel this way. I am pretty sure I am solar powered for a start. All I do know is that I need to address this feeling to sort it out and for this, I have A PLAN!

 

MINDSET

I guess this should be addressed first. I feel like I spend a lot of time by myself however I do not allow time FOR myself. The rest of this year is already becoming packed socially in the evenings and weekends. I must plan into the diary time for me. Time for my brain to relax and my head to clear. Time out of the house also, I have recently realised I am worse the longer I spend inside.

We moved home four months ago now and brought our first property. It has been a huge change to our lives and our quality of living is wonderful now. We are still adjusting to family life in our new home and how we all work around each other, this one will just take time as we all settle in.

I have begun to worry and I am not a worrier. I usually spend my time talking Scott and my best friend round from their panicked states. This just feels weird and I don’t like it, positivity is much more fun.

I also need to address my increase of migraines and pain in the back of my head. I have today booked an appointment with my new doctor so that’s at least one thing I have done something about.

 

FOOD

NO quick fixes Laura, plan baby steps to turn it around. I need to address my weight gain and relationship with food before it spirals. I adore food – Fact. These changes need to be long term and sustainable. I’m not looking to be skinny, I will always be curvy with a big bum and boobs. Just need to be healthy and fit which leads me on to…

EXERCISE

MOVE Laura! Working from home in front of a laptop / Spending all day sitting in a car driving around is not exercise. Close those rings on your Apple watch every single day woman! I have recently discovered working out in the mornings triggers my migraines, which is super annoying as I am a morning person. I feel I have been using this as an excuse not to move. All I need to do is work out or jog in the early evening before dinner, simple.

 

ORGANISATION

I am very limited with my clothing at the moment, in terms of what fits. So I have decided to evening plan my outfits for the following day. That way I will have comfort and less stress first thing, slimming down the risk of wearing something uncomfortable all day which will in turn affect my mindset. The same goes for my skin and haircare routine. I am coming towards the end of my Zanthalasma treatment with Louise from U and Your Skin which has been helping me boost my confidence in my own skin and (very) occasionally, allowing me to leave the house without make up. I need to keep on track with my daily skin care routine day and night! My use of olaplex on the old barnet has also slacked. At one point I was using it once a week on a Sunday then suddenly – STOPPED! Why Laura? Because rat tail hair is a good look? Nope I don’t think so.

 

JUST DO IT

Ok, an unintentional use of the old Nike slogan there but they are so right! Why wouldn’t I want to have a healthy body and a healthy mind? I guess by writing this down and putting it out there on the internet, it’s real – My issues are real. This is a starting point for me to getting myself and my mind back. The uneasiness of not feeling like me sits really uncomfortably. Roll on looking back at this post in 3 months time with my smile back on my face in a wholehearted way – And the top button of my jeans done up.

Laura x

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